THE HAPPY HOME

A Child’s Beginning
The first institution of God established on earth was the home. Way back in the Garden of Eden, before there were schools or churches there was family life.

The first place a child remembers is his home. His first teachers are his father and mother. A baby does not know much besides eating and sleeping, so as soon as he can talk he begins to ask questions. He does not know what is right and what is wrong, so his parents have to train him and be an example before him. The child learns quickest by imitating others.

The Bible tells us that everyone is born in sin, and that the natural thoughts of man are evil. So if a child is not told what he should do, he will do wrong. He shows anger and stubbornness very young; and if he is not disciplined, these traits will grow.

Obedience
One of the greatest lessons parents should teach their children is obedience, and they should begin very young. There is little love in a home where children are allowed to do as they please. They soon become very selfish, and do not care about anyone but themselves. The command is: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)” [Ephesians:6:1-2 [1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. [2] Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; ]).

Correction does not always mean spanking. Many times parents can influence their children for good much more effectively by reasoning with them, showing them by the Bible why they are wrong, and explaining the fault. When God calls guilty sinners to Himself, He says: “Come now, and let us reason together” [Isaiah:1:18Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. ]). God’s Word says, too, “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath” [Ephesians:6:4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. ]).

But when the child refuses all kind words and persuasion, he must be forced to obey through “the rod of correction,” or spanking. “Whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth” [Proverbs:3:12For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. ]).

A young man who grew up to be a minister said: “I thank God for every punishment, for every time my father prayed with me. My father, with prayer and a hickory stick, led his boy into the ministry.”

Parental Neglect
God will judge parents who do not discipline their children. Eli was a high priest and should have been a holy man of God. But when he saw his sons misbehaving, he told them once that they should not and then let them continue what they were doing. God said, “I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not” [1 Samuel:3:13For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. ]). The priesthood was taken from Eli, and his punishment was that there would never be an old man in his family – his sons would all die young.

Even King David had to suffer for indulging his son. The Bible tells us that David never said No to Absalom, and when Absalom grew up he dishonoured his father by trying to take the kingdom from him. Absalom apparently died unrepentant.

Children who obey their parents and are taught to work and help others are happy children. You may think you are abused when you cannot have your own way, or you may think your parents are cruel when they punish you; but you will find that you will have many more friends, and people will like you better when they see that you are obedient, loving, and kind.

Pictures
Is there anything about your home that would show others that it is a Christian home? Do you have any pictures of Jesus in your room? What are the first pictures you remember? You will never forget some of the things you saw daily when you were small. God knew that children remember longer what they see than what they hear, so He told Moses to tell the people to write the Law “upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates” [Deuteronomy:6:9And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. ]). Good pictures and mottoes in our homes help us to remember things about Jesus. One very good motto is:

Christ is the Head of this house,
The Unseen Guest at every meal,
The Silent Listener to every conversation.

Your Own Home
If the Lord tarries, in a very few years, you will be grown up and will want a home of your own. The first marriage took place in the Garden of Eden, and God performed the ceremony. He said: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” [Genesis:2:24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. ]). That was one of the first laws God made concerning man. Jesus repeated it, and added: “So then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” [Mark:10:8-9 [8] And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. [9] What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. ]).

Remember that rule when you grow up and want to marry. Remember that God says it is for life. God keeps record of your marriage, and He hears when you say, “Until death do us part.” No doubt, sickness and trouble will come into your home. (They come to everyone.) There usually is not enough money to satisfy your every whim. But you promise before God, at your wedding, to be faithful “in sickness and health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and prosperity.” Be careful when you make those vows that you mean to keep them, for God will hold you to them.

Bound Together
The Apostle Paul wrote: “The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man” [Romans:7:2-3 [2] For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. [3] So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. ]). And God said that, no adulteress or adulterer would enter the Kingdom of God. They are listed with idolaters and drunkards and murderers [Galatians:5:19-21 [19] Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, [20] Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, [21] Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. ]).

Jesus said, too, that whoever married someone who had been married before and was divorced, committed adultery [Matthew:5:32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. ]). John the Baptist was beheaded for telling Herod that it was a sin for him to be married to his brother’s wife. That was an important teaching, or John would not have been willing to go to prison and to give his life for preaching it.

Look ahead a little when you think you want to marry. Will that dashing young man who captivates your fancy be the kind of father you want for your children? Will you want to give up your name, your reputation, and submit yourself to him? Will that little girl with whom you can have so much fun make a good mother for your children? Will she cook your meals and take good care of your home? If more young people would consider these questions, there would be fewer broken homes a year or two after the wedding.

The reason we have so many divorces is that children are allowed to grow up without discipline. They are given everything they want without working for it, and they expect to get everything they want after they are grown up. They selfishly insist on having their own way, rather than consider the desires of others.

Remember, marriage is a partnership in which each one will have to carry his part of the responsibility and do his share of the work. Each will have to learn to discuss his problems fairly, and come to an agreement.

One in Spirit
If you are a Christian, make sure that the companion you choose is a Christian. God’s Word says: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? [2 Corinthians:6:14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? ]). And be sure that the person you marry has not been married before.

Another thing to notice is that God said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife” [Genesis:2:24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. ]). Henceforth they are one, separated from their parents. A young couple will be much happier if they live alone and work out their own problems without running to their parents for sympathy every time there is a difference of opinion. It sometimes takes years for two people to learn to understand each other, and it will take patience and forbearance on the part of both to make their lives happy.

A Husband's Duties
Let us consider the duties God lays down for a husband. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; ... So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” [Ephesians:5:25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; ]; [Ephesians:5:28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. ]).

When a man takes the marriage vow, it means that he becomes the head of a family, with the responsibility of supporting it. The Bible states that he who does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel [1 Timothy:5:8But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. ]). Be sure that you are willing to assume this responsibility before you marry.

A man's most important duty to his family will be to teach his children the commandments of God. When God called Abraham to become the father of His chosen people, He said: “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgement” [Genesis:18:19For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. ]). Think what grief it would bring to a parent even if his children grew up physically strong, intelligent, and of good appearance, but lost their soul in hell!

God tells us that a man who would rule the church must first be able to rule his own home, “having his children in subjection with all gravity” [1 Timothy:3:4One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; ]).

The Apostle Peter gives the husband a little instruction in honouring his wife: “Ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” [1 Peter:3:7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. ]). If a man does not honour and love his wife, the Lord does not promise to hear his prayers. His work for the Lord will not be respected if he is harsh and unkind to his family at home.

A man must also be an example before his children. Would you want your children to act as you do when things displease you? A father should be sure to keep his promises in every little thing; or if he cannot, he should be careful to explain the reason. He must be honest if he expects his children to respect him.

Duties of a Wife
Let us now consider the duties of a wife. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” [Ephesians:5:22-23 [22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ]).

In the Book of Proverbs we have a beautiful picture of a good woman, and it says of her: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, ... She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.... She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness” [Proverbs:31:11-12 [11] The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. [12] She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. ], [Proverbs:31:26-27 [26] She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. [27] She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. ]). And do you know what her reward is? “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her” [Proverbs:31:28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. ]).

It is the duty of the older women to tell the younger women how to make a happy home for themselves and their family. They are to teach them to be sober, “to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” [Titus:2:4-5 [4] That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [5] To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. ]). The wife is expected to keep her house clean, take good care of her children, have meals on time for her husband when he comes home from work. Her home is to be a pleasant, happy place where her family will enjoy one another. God says that this is important, and if she does not do it, she is a disgrace to the Gospel and blasphemes the Bible. Blasphemy is a serious sin.

If a mother becomes too busy with other activities to train her children properly, whose fault will it be if they become wicked and are lost in hell? When a child is born God has entrusted the parents with the care of an immortal soul, and He will hold them responsible for teaching that child how to be saved.

It is very important that parents take time to read the Bible to their children and pray with them. A well-known law enforcement officer has often said: “The family that prays together stays together.

If a home is built according to the Word of God, it will be a happy home, and there will be no need for divorce. The children born into that home and taught obedience to their parents and to the Word of God, will have a good opportunity to grow up to be trustworthy, honourable men and women.