Should a Christian Marry an Unbeliever?

This is an important point for which God strongly warned His people in the Old Testament times and which was confirmed in the New Testament times too.

“Else if ye do in any wise go back, and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, even these that remain among you, and shall make marriages with them, and go in unto them, and they to you:

“Know for a certainty that the LORD your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you” (Joshua 23:12,13).

“Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

“For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly” (Deuteronomy 7:3,4)

The union of a believer to an unbeliever is not a Christian marriage. The Lord made it clear to His chosen people the reason why they could not intermarry with heathen nations. He said: “For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods”. This is what happened in earliest times for which God’s anger was kindled against them:

“That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.

“And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. “And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at this heart.

“And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth” (Genesis 6:2, 5-7).

Abraham, when about to obtain a wife for Isaac his son, said to Eliezer , his trusted servant:

“Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:

“And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:

“But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac” (Genesis 24:2-4).

In the New Testament, too, Christians are forbidden to marry unbelievers.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

“And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

“And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

“Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

“And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty” (II Corinthians 6:14-18).

After knowing the Lord, it is a grievous sin in the sight of God for one to marry an unbeliever on any pretext. It is a violation of God’s command, which brings its just recompense. Every willful disobedience not repented of has its consequences; so also shall we not escape the consequence of disobeying God’s commands with regard to marriage.

However, it sometimes happens that one has been married to an unbeliever before he was genuinely converted and became a Bible Christian; the Word of God states clearly what such a one can do.

“If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

“And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him” (I Corinthians 7:12, 13).

The Bible has many promises for those who obey God’s Word. One of such promises is:

“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land” (Isaiah 1:19) .

Jesus, the Son of God, was an example of obedience while on earth. We read the following about Him in the Scriptures:

“And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:8).

As for our God, His ways are perfect and there is no searching of His understanding. His laws are unchangeable; they stand firm forever. One of them is that only one man and one woman should enter into holy matrimony and exchange vows, knowing that God has joined them together until death parts them. Disregard of God’s laws in this respect will plunge many into lifelong trouble and sorrow, except they repent and do that which is lawful and right. T.G.O.

Revd. T. G. Oshokoya