Why Do Christians Suffer in Marriage?

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and

eternal weight of glory;

“While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things

which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal"(2 Corinthians 4:17,18).

“For even hereunto were ye called; because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

“Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth;

“Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed

himself to him that judgeth righteously.

"Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

“For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your

souls”(1 Peter 2:21-25).

“And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise

not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth”

(Hebrews 12:5,6).

If Christ suffered, there is no point we attempt to run away from suffering. More importantly, our suffering is never in vain. When we go through suffering, we come forth like gold. What is the origin of difficulties?

“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring fort children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

“And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of

the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

“Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

“In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return”(Genesis3:16-19).

Sin brought difficulties, hardship and suffering. What is the nature of the difficulties in marriage? They are diverse. Sometimes there is poverty after wedding. Some superstitious unbelievers would blame such on the wife. They would accuse the woman of bringing bad luck. Is it the wife? We have seen that sometimes the sky may be blue; at other times, it may be overcast. Sometimes the sky may be stormy. At times, it is calm. If poverty strikes after wedding, it is a great trial and temptation. Sometimes such a trial has led some women to despise their husbands. I could not believe my ears when a woman accused her husband of being useless. I asked if she was sure of what she was saying and she pointed to her husband and said: "That man is useless. "Then I told her, “You are the wife of a useless man. ”When you call your husband useless, you are a useless person also. If your husband is Mr Useless, you are also Mrs Useless. Please, let us watch the kind of things we say. Sometimes because of poverty, some women become unfaithful. Some run away from the home. This kind of thing is found among unbelievers. For children of God, floating, we float together. Sinking, we sink together because tough times never last but tough people do last. Tough people are well versed in the Word of God. If the sky is cloudy now, they are looking at the silver lining. They are looking forward to a better tomorrow, and it does come eventually.

At times people marry and there is no pregnancy. Some men will get mad at that. They want to behave like an abnormal person. When a man begins to beat his wife because she could not get pregnant, who is so strong to make pregnancy if God does not allow it? Nobody can. Some women also will become another thing. They want to go to questionable places. They want to get a child even from the devil. People should remember that the reason for marriage is not only about children but companionship. Be a good and faithful companion. If it pleases God, He will give you children. If you have none now, the God of Sarah and Hannah will be your God. The God of the Jolaoshos will be your God (Sister Jolaosho took in when she was about 50 years old and got a healthy baby boy!). With God, nothing shall be impossible!

“But unto Hannah he gave a worthy portion for he loved Hannah: but the LORD hath shut up her womb”(1 Samuel 1:5).

God shut up Hannah's womb. Would any amount of complaint do? No. When Hannah prayed a prevailing prayer, did God not open her womb? We are bringing up these points to let you know that if difficulties are staring you in the face, you do not need to crack up. You have got to face your challenges squarely, and go to God in prayer. Difficult times are the times to consecrate and search your heart. In some instances, some of these things are punishments allowed by God because of our sins. Remember the case of Adam and Eve recorded in Genesis 3:16-19.They were punished because of their transgression and we have inherited their punishment. Thank God for making a way of escape for us. Difficult times come and go but remember that when the going is tough, the tough keeps going. Do not forget that the Lord who created the Heaven and the earth by His own power and stretched out arm shall suffer no impossibility.

There could be job loss or unemployment when there is a family to feed. It is very hard. There could also be bodily impairment due to accident. Sometimes one may be affected by prolonged illness. Sometimes the children may become wayward. There could be a case of unfaithfulness on the part of the wife or husband. Satan uses unfaithfulness to break many homes and make many incur the wrath of God. If the partner is repentant, you should forgive him or her.

Some go to the law court to seek divorce. God did not give room for that! We pray this does not happen in the household of God. God has not left us in doubt. We should forgive one another. God does not give anybody the licence to break his or her marriage to go and remarry. Some people will wake up one morning and conclude they are incompatible with their spouse. If God has assigned a partner for you, a case of incompatibility does not arise at all. But if you are an introvert and God has given you somebody who talks like a parrot, you have no right to say you are incompatible. Do you want your voice forgotten? When there would be voices roaring about you, nobody would recognise your voice. You would be shouted down, that is why God gave you that man or woman to balance the equation. Don't call him or her a talkative. He or she is a blessing from God and if he or she is very quiet, do not blame him or her, or complain. God knows how to balance things. Let us learn to appreciate God for His goodness

Despairing and getting depressed over what you are going through will only add to your problems. Identifying them and trusting God for solutions will bring hope to your family. God loves you and He cares. He is always available to help in times of trouble.

Successful marriage, desire it, pray for it and you will get it!