Q: In a situation where a maiden rejected a proposal from God's choice for her based on the present financial status of the man or the nature of his job,what happens?

Beware of Idols in the Heart

A: Our concern in this discourse centres on true Christians. That question is not related to a Christian because if God spoke with a man and he hearkens and He spoke to a maiden and the maiden did not yield, if the man continues to lean on God,God will establish His Word. God knows what to do to convince that maiden to hear and yield to His dictates. We can affirm this from experiences in time past. If we call a woman a sister, it means she believes the Word of God.If there is a woman who does not believe the Word of God, she is no longer a sister.

We have had a case of a maiden who was approached by a brother.The woman came to me that so and so brother approached her and I gave her the go-ahead to go and pray. She came back that God said 'No.' I asked how she prayed her prayer and then directed her to go and tell the man the mind of God. After a while, the man brought the name of another lady and I asked him, 'But you brought someone's name the other time. Have you concluded with God over the choice?' He said that it was God Who chose this other maiden for him too. I asked that he returned to God in prayer. Not too long,the first lady came back apologetically that God had been troubling her, insisting the man she rejected was her husband. The two of them are now married with children. This does not mean that everyone who claims to have prayed through prayed the right way. For some, it is the idol in their heart that is propelling itself, but for the genuine children of God, no matter where the tide sweeps-no matter the status of the person God has chosen-they will bow to the Cross of Jesus.

Q: In situations where two or three people claim they had prayed through to the same person, how do we establish the true husband from the team?

A: We have answered this question earlier and we concluded that when one prays based on the idols in his heart, he would see diverse images. It is even possible that none of the suitors is God's choice for the maiden. It is more common among the women folk. Two or three women would come that God had revealed to them that a particular person would be their husband. My common attitude to that is to tell them to pray that God might convince the man to ask for their hand in marriage. For many in that circle, it is the idol in their heart that is stirring them up.

Q: Should tribe, ethnicity or tradition prevent us from getting married to one another in the Gospel, taking into consideration our diversity as Nigerians?

A: Salvation integrates the redeemed of the Lord into the family of God. The Sound Doctrine is established wherever the children of God dwell and it serves as the Code of Conduct.There is nothing like tribe, kindred or any form of discrimination.We are all equal before God. Man is born into confusion, conflict and crisis. Human methods or strategies have failed to remove the curses upon the world. But faith that is based on Sound Doctrine is the only remedy.

From Galatians 3:26-28 we read;

“For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

“For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

“And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

Q: Can a well-read Christian marry an illiterate?

A: Marriage is based on love not literacy, riches, or wealth.

Q: Is it comely for intending spouses to exchange visits regularly?

A: No. In some other denominations, young men and women would have been encouraged to visit each other, take care of themselves to examine if they would be good for each other or otherwise, but that is not the practice here. What the Bible encourages is laying down your life on the altar otherwise called consecration as a victorious Christian. Marriage is both physical and spiritual, and the spiritual aspect is what is more important. There is ample danger in a man and woman proposing to marry to keep exchanging visits, because danger lurks in the corner. To ward off such danger, the maiden and the man must keep away from each other as much as possible. If they would be alone,a third party must be present or otherwise, the door must be open.

In our setting, the Bible does not support spouses visiting each other. Unfortunately, many do not listen to Sound Doctrine. All the people trying such should desist and make restitution to God. If you are one of us, you must abide by the Sound Doctrine.

Many at times, we were taken aback that some men whom we had looked forward to as possible tools for God had been encumbered with these practices that confounded us. I want to warn all those trying to do contrary to desist from erring. There was even a case when after they had been writing letters to each other, and had burnt their fingers, the woman brought out a series of love letters written to her by the man. The man had already impregnated the young woman and was pleading with her not to allow anyone know about it. Our investigation revealed they had been interacting with each other for upward of five years. The stand of the Church is that you cannot wound a lady and abandon her. For who? He pleaded to marry another person in the Gospel but we had to intervene appropriately that there was no room for such.

We cannot be involved in marriages wherein the participating spouses had corrupted themselves. In such instances, the registry is there. What we do here is strictly based on holiness.

Q: For how long should intending spouses court?

A: The Bible did not specify how long courtship should last. But our book (Minister's Manual) notes that long courtship engenders temptations and snares. It explains that too much closeness-the woman going to cook for the intending husband or frequenting his house - could easily lead to trouble or ensnarement. It can endanger their faithfulness. Therefore, each party needs to be watchful.