Right Way of Raising Children

Q: Is it appropriate for husband and wife to be government workers and for them to leave their children to the care of maids?

A: The tradition of dumping children for housemaids to cater for is inappropriate. It is a borrowed culture and anti-Christianity. The children God has given us deserve our time in the morning, afternoon and evening. We are debtors to them in that regard. If we fail to cater for our children, we would not be able to nurture them in the fear of God. We would fail to teach them how to pray and how to be useful for God. Catering to children goes farther than providing food in the morning, going to work and coming back in the evening to take care of them. It is the duty of the man to go to work and earn money for the upkeep of the home while the wife should be the homemaker and caterer of the children. But there are instances that it is the woman that is more capable to have gainful employment. There could be an exchange or role reversal.The wife could work and the husband caters for the children. If the woman is in position to earn bigger pay and she agrees to work,the husband should take care of the children. This is better than for the two of them to be employees. What I am talking about here is only possible with Christians.

Unbelievers do not believe God and they cannot trust others. For the unbelievers, the husband would want to build a house secretly somewhere without the knowledge of the wife and vice versa. At the end of it all, such actions would lead to heartache and trouble all the days of their lives. There will be no peace in their home.They will not enjoy the houses they built, they cannot enjoy their children and the riches acquired guarantee no pleasure. If this is so, it is beneficial if we believe God and comport ourselves appropriately.

The evil of training our children through house helps is that the house helps would only train the children based on what they know. They would bring up the children in the culture and character of the world. These maids are deficient in character in diverse ways. They would become role models for children born into Christian homes and thereby mislead them. It is such that sometimes, because of the early intimacy with these maids, it is pretty difficult for such children to become committed Christians in future. At the end of it all, the efforts of the parents to make money would end up being a waste of time and vexation of the spirit. The children would not cater to the needs and cares of the parents when such help is needed. Sometimes, such children end up becoming drug abusers and ignorant of the ways of God.

Q:Can a woman approach a man for marriage?

A: We consider that our women in Nigeria are self-respecting. There are nations where their women are not as restricted.To them, this question may not be relevant but Nigerian women are reserved. Our culture is patriarchy and as such, marriage plans are the preserves of men. It would therefore be unseemly for a woman to start patronising a man for marriage. Even when they realise a man is God's choice,they try to hide it.