Q: Some parents are particular about who their daughters could marry. In some scenarios, such parents may specify, 'You must marry from my hometown.' If the daughter is convinced she is not so led by the Spirit of God, what can she do?

Spiritual Maturity Before Marriage

A: It is this generation that handles marriage in a rush.We found that many of those who seek counselling with regards to marriage are always in a hurry. We regret that those who bring marital questions are almost always overaged. We assume that if you had a well thought out plan about marriage, you would have started the plan since you were about 25 years old. Unfortunately, many come into the Gospel at about 30 years, and when that is the case, it would be absurd that with all the tenets of Sound Doctrine that you have to learn and imbibe,thinking about marriage would be strange. We do tell such people that it is wrong to assail us with marriage plan when you barely know the rudiments of the Gospel. We did not accept the Gospel so we can marry a wife or husband. We are in the Gospel for our spiritual welfare-the salvation of our soul. We therefore need to know what the Lord requires of us.What does God like or dislike?

All the while, the people of God are watching our steps, the way we dress, and our attitude to the Word of God and our daily living. But for some, their concern is to come for team work,attend burial services here, there, and yonder. The next thing is that you approach the Ministry that it has pleased God you should get married. This is usually mysterious to us, and we wonder, 'Is he here to get married or go to Heaven?' When I ask them, 'When did you join this church and how much of the teachings do you know?' The frequent answer is, 1978, 1979 (duration of a year or two), and I retort, 'And you want to get married? Do you know this woman whose name you brought and does she know you? Where did you meet? He would say, 'At team work.' And I would say, 'Little wonder!' Let all that are in that state note that God has brought us into the Gospel mainly to purify our heart and convert us to Himself.

For whosoever embraces the Sound Doctrine, whichever blessings God wishes, He would shower on him. The Bible says; “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

There are instances when the man is even in good standing, but the parents might have reservations about the Church Doctrines. They could have said, 'In that your new church, they do not get married,they do not bury their dead' and make other insinuations. As such, when the lady brings her choice ofman,they decline.The man may become agitated and come forth from time to time asking, 'What next? What do I do now?' There is nothing to do than to pray until the parents support the marriage. It could take you two or more years. The truth is that, you might have considered that you were mature sufficiently to get married but God has not seen you in the same light.

Our stand in the Gospel is different from what obtains in the world. In The Apostolic Faith,we cannot support a marriage that is not supported by the parents of the spouses. Think about it this way:when your parents did not support your marriage,there is no doubt you will not be able to live your life completely without visiting them. Whenever you decide to take your wife to your parents who were not supportive of your getting married to her, you are only going to punish the woman. This is because they were not in support of the marriage right from the onset and their contemplation would be that it was their pastors that joined them in marriage.

This is why both spouses would need to get the blessings of their parents for them to get married in this Church. This is because whoever is not accepted of the two would not enjoy the marriage. Whereas marriage is ruled by unity but when your parents do not support it, you may say to your wife when travelling home, 'You cannot go home with me.' But you would always return to your parents.When God blesses you in the future, you will go and build a house in your hometown. Even before then, you would travel home, whereas nobody wants to see the woman you married. She is regarded as the church pig; they will so hate her that they would molest her everywhere and anywhere they see her. Is the woman married? No! Although she is married, she would not enjoy the marriage. If the rejected party is the husband, he would not enjoy the marriage because the in-laws would disrespect him always. It is therefore desirable that the spouses be patient. If you pray,there is nothing difficult for God to turn around for good. God can change the heart of your parents.