Q: Supposing a Christian in time past had had intimacy with someone before coming across the Gospel and having got saved, can he still be allowed to get married to someone else in the church?

The Need for Restitution

A: This question is very appropriate. It requires detailed explanation. Boyfriend and girlfriend that are cohabiting should know that the first man and the first woman had been together, and it was not that the woman had gone about town before they met each other. From our interaction with people, we found there are some boys who had gone out with many girlfriends in the past. Of these girlfriends, he deflowered about four.Meaning that of these 20 or 30 girls, many of them had also had a series of boyfriends. It is one of the four he had deflowered that should have been his wife in that they went into the relationship with the intention of being married. They had gone into marriage without seeking parental approval. Wherever they go, if they do not co-join again, the man had lost his wife, the woman had also lost her husband. Some parents believe that their children had not brought a man or woman home as his spouse. That is correct if they have not had sex but if they had done that, that has nullified that conception. What we know as husband and wife is a relationship with the consent of the parents. Any other thing is null and void.

Some have imbibed crooked doctrine that what they did in the past occurred in the period of ignorance and that Jesus had prayed for them. They would continue to live in the world. Yes, they live in the world but they do not follow the dictates and patterns of the world. When many of you came for salvation, did God not remind you of the things you had stolen as a child, and did you not make restitution? Why did you have to do that and not just say, 'But I was a child when I did that?' For instance, when you were five-year-old, you came to my house and you took my ten naira, and 20 years after, you prayed for salvation, and Jesus reminded you of the theft and you came to me and made restitution. Has it not ended there? No. If you did not return my money there and then, I will expect you to return it someday. I will also pay a tithe of one naira, that is when the case ends.

We have a reference to this in Ecclesiastes 11:9: "Rejoice O man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the day of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart; and in the sight of thine eyes; but know thou, that for all these things God will bring you into judgment." Some would say, they did that when they were in the world. Learn from the example of Zacchaeus. He said that if he had taken anything illegally from anyone, he would pay back in fourfold. You think you had become a child of God. What of the people you had cheated?What of those whose property you had taken illegally? You have to go to them and make restitution. You have to make restitution to women you have jilted, not that you want to bring them home but that God may forgive you.

For those who wait on the Lord, He will renew their strength. There are some who had been cheated and abandoned,God can fight for you if you commit your ways unto Him. But know one thing,He had known you before He called you. He will help you.

Q: If someone cannot pray through on marriage, can she keep her peace so that she does not go into sin over marriage concerns? I ask this question because someone came to me that he had prayed and God revealed to him I am his wife, but I prayed, God did not show me any proof that he is my husband.

A: May God deliver us from the spirit of 'seeing rats and birds.' Many are the men who say exactly as you have illustrated. As he had told you and you have not given him an answer, he would go to another woman. We had a case like that before I came into this gathering this morning. A minister told a young man, this person whose name you brought has just started learning a musical instrument, she would not be able to go into marriage now.And within a jiffy, he said, 'The Spirit of God had put another person in my heart.' There are men who do not fear to lie against God. It is not that they want to deliberately tell lies, but their heart is fully committed to marriage. Some may even come to you saying, they saw you in a marriage parade going up and coming down from Heaven. He is being deceived by the god of his stomach. Do not agree to his plots.